NAUGHTY GYM SHOW - Building Stronger Non-Monogamous Relationships

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Podcast by April and Scott

NAUGHTY GYM SHOW - Building Stronger Non-Monogamous Relationships

Naughty Gym Show is a podcast about non-monogamy, open relationships, swinging, polyamory, and the skills of building strong relationships beyond traditional monogamy. Hosted by Scott and April Shirley, the show explores how couples and individuals can create honest, ethical, and emotionally strong non-monogamous relationships. Each episode dives into the real work of modern love, communication, jealousy, autonomy, intimacy, trust, and personal growth. At the center of the show is a simple but radical idea: relational freedom. The belief that love grows strongest when it is chosen freely, supported by honesty, autonomy, and mutual respect rather than control or fear. These conversations draw from the broader framework behind Wild Love Theory, a modern philosophy of relationships built around authenticity, autonomy, and expansive connection. If you’re curious about ethical non-monogamy (ENM), exploring open relationships, navigating polyamory, or simply trying to build a more honest and resilient partnership, this show offers the conversations and skills most people were never taught. At Naughty Gym, relationships are treated like something you train for. We talk about the philosophy, psychology, and practical skills required to build relationships that are strong enough to hold freedom, truth, desire, and real intimacy. Expect deep conversations, practical insights, and honest stories about love, sex, commitment, and the future of relationships. Welcome to the gym.
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Latest episodes

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30 September 2026

The Non-Monogamy Check-In

What if the real question isn’t, “Why can’t I handle non-monogamy?” but instead, “What else am I already carrying?”

In this episode, Scott and April get unusually personal about something that has quietly affected their own non-monogamous relationship for years: capacity.

Non-monogamy can be emotionally demanding. And when one partner is already overwhelmed by work, family, stress, responsibility, or an unequal relational load, there may simply not be much capacity left for jealousy, uncertainty, sexual exploration, or navigating new boundaries.

But the conversation goes even deeper.

Scott and April unpack a recurring communication pattern between them. Before entering a non-monogamous environment, Scott would ask some version of, “What are you comfortable with?” His intention was to avoid assumptions and protect the relationship.

April heard something very different.

To her, the question felt like she was being handed responsibility for deciding what Scott could or couldn’t do—and then being forced to choose between two terrible options: say yes and potentially override herself, or say no and feel responsible for disappointing him.

The breakthrough came when they realized April wasn’t asking Scott to read her mind.

She was asking for evidence that he had been paying attention.

Instead of, “Where are you?” the better question became something closer to:

“Here’s where I think we are. Here’s what I see you carrying. Here’s what I think our capacity looks like right now. How does that feel to you?”

It’s a conversation about non-monogamy, but it’s also about something much bigger: attunement, invisible labor, emotional responsibility, communication, and the difference between asking your partner to give you the answer and showing them that you’re already standing beside them trying to understand it.

If you’ve ever wondered why something that once felt exciting suddenly feels exhausting, this episode may help you understand why.

STATE OF US WEEKLY RELATIONSHIP CHECK-IN DOCUMENThttps://drive.google.com/drive/folders/13BL0kmbDBMEt4MwvC8MwVLh6Za0tqG3M?usp=sharing

🪩 OUR UPCOMING EVENTS...

- EL SALVADOR RETREAT Anti-Resort, Mizata | October 12-17, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador

- WILD & WISE WOMEN'S RETREAT Smoky Mountains, TN | November 8-11, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise

- MANCATION MOUNTAIN Smoky Mountains, TN | November 8-11, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation

- HOLIDAZE PARTY Smoky Mountains, TN | November 15-20, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze

- BE BETTER AT BEING BAD 4 Hedonism II Resort, Jamaica | Jan 2-9, 2027 https://hedonism.com/bbbb

📖 BUY OUR BOOK... Wild Love Theory https://tinyurl.com/cnmjectx

🌐 OUR WEBSITE... https://www.naughtygym.com

📧 OUR EMAIL... naughtygymonline@gmail.com

Thanks for listening to The Naughty Gym Show, soon to be AYA Society.

Never Stop Playing.

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15 September 2026

Can Psychedelics Make You Better at Non-Monogamy?

Can psychedelics actually make you better at non-monogamy? Jealousy. Fear. Defensiveness. Insecurity. The urge to control what your partner does so you don’t have to feel something uncomfortable. These are some of the hardest parts of opening a relationship, and in this episode, Scott sits down with Dr. Chandra Khalifian and Dr. Kayla Knopp, co-founders of Enamory, to explore whether psychedelic-assisted therapy can help us respond to those challenges differently. Chandra and Kayla work at the intersection of couples therapy, expansive relationships, and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. Together, they explore how substances like MDMA and ketamine may temporarily reduce defensiveness, increase cognitive flexibility, deepen empathy, and make it easier to see a conflict through your partner’s eyes. And that creates a fascinating possibility for non-monogamy: What if the goal isn’t to eliminate jealousy, fear, or insecurity? What if the goal is to become better at experiencing those emotions without immediately trying to restrict someone else’s freedom? Scott, Chandra, and Kayla discuss: • How to talk to your partner about opening your relationship • Why being terrified to raise the subject may reveal a deeper issue • What happens in the brain when MDMA reduces fight-or-flight responses • Why psychedelics may make us less defensive during difficult conversations • How non-monogamy can expose our instinct to control what makes us uncomfortable • Why jealousy is information, not automatic proof that your partner has done something wrong • How psychedelic therapy may expand our ability to tolerate fear, insecurity, shame, and uncertainty • Why letting go of control can become a learnable skill • How psychedelics can make it easier to understand your partner’s perspective • What ketamine-assisted relationship therapy actually looks like • Why the psychedelic experience itself isn’t enough, and why integration matters • How to tell the difference between a meaningful psychedelic insight and simply having a strange idea while high Scott also shares how an early MDMA experience with April unexpectedly changed the way they communicated and allowed each of them to hear things from the other that had previously been much harder to receive. This isn’t a conversation about using psychedelics to magically make non-monogamy easy. It’s about whether psychedelic-assisted therapy might help us develop some of the very capacities non-monogamy demands: emotional flexibility, empathy, curiosity, perspective-taking, and the ability to experience discomfort without immediately trying to control the person we love.

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04 September 2026

Special Episode: Men Need Male Relationships

What happens when a bunch of men who aren’t particularly interested in going to a men’s retreat actually spend a weekend together?

Apparently, something none of us expected.

When Mancation Mountain was created, the plan was pretty simple: get a group of guys together in an incredible Smoky Mountain mansion, eat great food, play poker and pickleball, drink, laugh, hang out, and squeeze in about 90 minutes a day talking about relationships.

Because, realistically, how much “deep conversation” are a bunch of guys going to tolerate?

Last year, those 90-minute conversations kept turning into four-hour conversations. The guys themselves didn’t want them to end.

In this episode, Scott sits down with two men who attended the first Mancation Mountain to talk about what actually happened there, including what they expected going in, why some of the men almost didn’t come at all, and how a weekend built around having fun unexpectedly became one of the most meaningful experiences many of them had ever had.

They talk openly about relationships, sex, insecurity, erectile dysfunction, childhood baggage, non-monogamy, marriage, anxiety, and things some men admitted they had never told another person in their lives.

But this isn’t therapy camp, and it isn’t four days of sitting around crying.

It’s about something a lot of men may not realize they’re missing until they experience it: real friendships with other men who can hear the complicated, uncomfortable, deeply personal parts of your life without judging you, fixing you, or turning the conversation into wife-bashing.

Mancation Mountain is sex-positive, but it isn’t just for men in non-monogamous relationships. Last year included straight, gay, bisexual, monogamous, non-monogamous, partnered, and single men. The common denominator was simply being open-minded enough to let other people live differently than you do.

If the phrase “men’s retreat” makes you slightly uncomfortable, this episode may be especially worth hearing.

Because several of the men who felt exactly that way going in were the same ones saying, three days later: “I had no idea I needed this.”

MANCATION MOUNTAIN - Men's Retreat https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation

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01 September 2026

Barcelona Recap & Our Two-Year Transparency Misunderstanding

We’re back from Europe, and somehow we came home with more than great food, unforgettable stories, and a ridiculous amount of sweat. In this episode, we recap our eight-day Naughty Gym/Aya Society trip outside Barcelona with 29 friends, including connection circles, skinny dipping at a 500-year-old villa, late nights in the Gothic Quarter, an unforgettable drag show in Sitges, April watching her grandson being born over FaceTime while standing outside Sagrada Família, and a few lessons about what happens when Scott attempts to navigate European public transportation. Then we head to Rome, where a bucket-list trip became far more emotional than either of us expected. But somewhere between the Vatican, ancient ruins, wine, and long dinners, we also uncovered something much bigger: a misunderstanding that had quietly been affecting our relationship for nearly two years. It started with something Scott once said publicly: “When I’m sitting in front of someone, I’m trying to fall deeply in love with them.” Scott thought he was describing presence, curiosity, and allowing himself to connect deeply with another human being. April heard something very different, and instead of telling him how frightening that idea felt, she spent two years trying to make herself become okay with it. That realization turned into a conversation about one of the central pillars of *Wild Love Theory*: transparency. What happens when one person isn’t precise about what they mean and the other person isn’t honest about what they feel? When does “doing the work” become forcing yourself to tolerate something your body keeps rejecting? And how can our partners truly know us if we’re showing them the person we think we’re supposed to be instead of the person we actually are? Apparently even the people who wrote the book can mess this stuff up. Plus, we talk about what we learned from Barcelona, why future Aya Society trips may look a little different, our upcoming events, and the release of Wild Love Theory.

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11 August 2026

Jealousy in Non-Monogamy: Invisible Contracts & Unspoken Expectations

What happens when you really click with another person or couple, maybe even have great sex, and then find yourself hurt or jealous when they connect with someone else? In Episode 83, April and Scott talk about the invisible agreements we sometimes create in non-monogamy without ever discussing them. Maybe you’ve played together before and assumed it would happen again. Maybe you went to an event together expecting to spend the night together. Maybe you felt close to someone and were surprised by your jealousy when they met someone new. Problems can arise when those assumptions affect how we treat someone who never knew we had them. We also explore how differently people experience sexual desire. Attraction, chemistry, and opportunity may lead one person toward sex, while someone else can enjoy the same chemistry without wanting to take it further. Previous sex doesn’t guarantee future sex. We talk about what happens when disappointment creates pressure, why someone else shouldn’t have to manage our reaction to hearing no, and how this can affect consent. April also shares how fear of disappointing people influenced some of her own choices in the past. Plus, we get into jealousy between friends and play partners, compersion, autonomy, community, and why communicating our hopes can prevent unspoken expectations from creating hurt feelings.

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28 July 2026

Menopause Unfiltered: Pelvic Health, Better Sex & the Power of Women’s Community

Perimenopause and menopause can affect far more than your cycle—they can reshape your sleep, strength, confidence, sexuality, and relationships. In this candid episode, April and co-host Catherine of Expansive Connection explore how women can move through this transition feeling informed, empowered, and fully connected to their bodies. Pelvic-floor specialist Cara explains why common symptoms shouldn’t simply be dismissed as “normal,” how breathing and mobility support pelvic health, and why the pelvic floor matters for movement, pain, sexual function, and stronger orgasms. Returning Wild & Wise attendees Teresa and Sharon also share how the retreat helped them rediscover self-love, gain practical knowledge, form genuine friendships, and feel less alone. You’ll also hear what’s planned for the 2026 Wild & Wise Retreat, from fitness, nutrition, hormones, relationships, and pleasure to yoga, nourishing food, intentional downtime, and honest conversations in a welcoming, sex-positive space. Whether you’re approaching perimenopause, already in it, or navigating life after menopause, this episode is a powerful reminder: you are not broken, you don’t have to suffer silently, and you deserve support. The Wild & Wise Retreat takes place November 8–11, 2026, in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Learn more at NaughtyGym.com.

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